Endings

My dear Emrys…my sweet baby boy. In this moment I am wishing you were here picking on me so that some of this burden in my heart can ease. I would couple you, pull out. My cards so you could watch me do random readings, and just enjoy being picked on by you. Mr. D is gone and my heart hurts pretty bad. I don’t even know why. I know I did not do anything wrong. I tried to help him, and just as he was beginning to change, boom, he went back. The light that was growing in him vanished, and I have become the enemy. I mourn him along with you since it happened on that significant day. On your day. I have found that it is easier to treat this like he is out there in the universe, than to go through the chaos associated with finding the coping skills for this situation that feels do much like a death. Oh, by the way, I found a picture of you while we were on a video call with Mr. D. You were throwing him the finger. In my head, I see this as you cussing him out in advance.

Love forever,

Your Bibi

It is December 22, 2024, and almost 12:0 AM. Yes, I know. This timeframe continues to haunt me. I haven’t made an entry in a bit, but I needed to organize my thoughts and emotions so that I can go back to functioning at a somewhat normal level. I still cry every day. It was becoming less, but the ending of Mr. D hit me pretting damn hard to I had to reevaluate myself. I have chosen to morn that as if he has passed away, because I have gained those. But I know nothing of this type of loss, and I am not ready to learn that yet, so, Mr. D has passed on.

A Divine Gift: Emrys’ Story is now on Amazon, and things are about to start getting crazy. I am going to lead a feminist revolution revival, because women need their power back. And who bettter than a tiny minority woman with an extensive educational background, a big voice and an even bigger heart to do it? Who knows, I may decide to get into politics and show them all how a true leader does things. Shhhh, let me not say that too much or too loud, because when I say something…… Oh yeah. It happens.

I will be more active in a couple of days. I just needed a little time. I leave this entry with a picture of Emrys giving Mr. D the finger.