It is December 4, 2024. The day has been cloudy, dreary, and wet; such a contrast from this exact date a year ago when it was warm and sunny. The Angels have been crying because what they so carefully placed together came crumbling down due to lies, deceptions, manipulations, greed, insecurities, fears, and money (the root of all evils). You see, they had answered a prayer that day. An emerging male was hurting. He desired to be fully accepted. He desired to know how it felt to me loved without condition. He desired the wealth he had never known. And on that day, an Angel set foot on his doorstep.
Today makes a year since I met Mr. D. I remember that day like it was yesterday. I had woken up from a very crazy dream. The person in my dream appeared male, but felt female. I had felt things that were so intoxicating in that dream. I could not see his face, but his smell lingered.
I had the morning off because I was going to do an intake that afternoon. I spent a little time with Juju; she was starting to really show. I had coffee, and I remember asking Juju if arrangements had been made for Friend to leave yet, or if I was going to have to do it myself. She said he would be leaving in January after her ultrasound; she wanted to use that ultrasound to show him that Emrys was really a boy like I had said, and like she had been feeling. Funny, we were already calling him by name at that point. And Juju just had to ask for a reveal in that moment. I told her that I could not afford it, but that I would buy a baby gift only, and decorate a small cake just so he could have a moment that he did not deserve. Oh, I was so mad she even asked that.
I went to my room to get ready, a a strange sense of urgency filled me. I felt excited, giddy, electrified, breathless, and an urgency to hurry up and get on the road. Typically intense feelings kept me home, but I could almost physically feel the push out the door. The closer I got to my destination, the faster my heart would beat. I started shaking when I parked. I sat in my car for a bit, just trying to control the nerves. Usually, a feeling like this would have me running the other way, but this one pulled me.
I was having difficulty catching my breath as I rang the doorbell. And when the door opened, the smell shattered my senses. It was him. And I was going to suffer. But I was going to need him. Juju, and I were going to need him. I saw it flash before my eyes. I did not want this. I wanted to turn around and take off running. But I was stuck.
My TWIN FLAME. My PEACE was about to be disturbed, and I could not walk away.
It is a year later, and I decided to use my Goddess Oracle deck before documenting this. 5 cards fell out, more like flew out. 5 symbolizes change, a major shift in circumstances, new beginnings, growth. Things are about to be balanced out.
